From Blogging to YouTube: An Introvert's Huge Challenge

How I overcome my own self-doubt and fears to upload my first tutorial video on YouTube

Subscribe to my newsletter and never miss my upcoming articles

Listen to this article

Hello everyone! Today I decided to publish this unplanned article, as a huge "Thank You" to all the kind and supportive feedback I got from uploading my first tech tutorial on YouTube 2 days ago. And also, thanks to Tapas Adhikary for requesting this article.

The Backstory

It started from gaming. Yes, haha. Some of you may know that I play games as a hobby and recently started playing a game called Overwatch.

TLDR: I'm terrible at it and I wanted to document my progress by streaming on Twitch without showing my face. I'm seriously camera shy and super introverted.

And that's when a friend suggested VStreaming/VTubing. It means Virtual Streaming or Virtual Tubing. It works by rigging a 3D model to your own face with a webcam, so it can be your virtual avatar.

model1.gif

That's when I got an idea for this perfect compromise. Now I can share knowledge through a new medium like YouTube without showing my face but still with some kind of "face" for people to remember.

The tools and resources I used to set up VTubing are linked at the end of this article.

The Why

Just until recently, I would never have dreamt to release a public video on YouTube. So far, my YouTube account has been for personal records (i.e. hackathon demo videos). The thought to upload a video and share it with the public was just too overwhelming and scary to an introvert like me.

What motivates me to start in one word: readers.

Even though I'm usually good at self-motivation, I realized that sometimes we need a little push and encouragement from others to challenge ourselves beyond what we think we can do. And this is a great example for that statement.

My readers never fail to remind me that my writing helps them a lot. In return, I want to continue helping and supporting them in any way I can, especially by replying to every email.

However, I gradually find myself spending from 30 minutes a day to almost 1 hour a day replying emails to readers. Since I'm a believer that anything can be more efficient, I came up with 2 options:

  1. Publish an article that addresses these FAQs
  2. New challenge: have a video that answers these FAQs

Of course, if I had not discovered VTubing, I would go with option 1. And I've always done that. Most of the articles from my Blogging Series were written for that purpose.

But after publishing 365 Days of Hashnode: How I Overcome Imposter's Syndrome, not only did I received so much kind words, but also a small number of readers actually sent me emails asking if I do YouTube and if I don't, I should have one. And so, with this little motivation, I set up my webcam and hit 'Record'.

image.png

The How and The Struggles

Part 1: Recording

The recording part was the easiest part of this new challenge. I'm just talking to myself after all. But without a doubt, it was still a nerve-wrecking process.

I lowered my voice to hide my nervousness. If you have watched the video, please note that my natural voice is actually higher haha. I recorded over and over again because I was not happy with the outcome... But each time, I felt it was getting worse as I overthink too much and become more nervous in the process. Finally, I decided on the best version even though it was still lacking to me. My perfectionism is emerging again, oops...

Part 2: Uploading the video

To be honest, I didn't plan on uploading the video anytime soon. I recorded it 10 days ago and shared it with close friends. They were ecstatic about it and I thought,

"Okay, maybe someday I'll upload it and start YouTube. Someday..."

And that thought rests at the back of my mind for 10 days. On one side of my brain, I felt I should upload soon but on the other side, I'm afraid that this is not good enough, and so I could not upload.

As the days passed, I continuously give myself plenty of excuses to NOT upload. Like,

"It's still not good enough. Find time to record again until it's good."

"What if no one finds this helpful?

"What if it's disappointing to many people? What if I regret this?"

"You're not ready yet. Don't do it."

Slowly, more fear and self-doubt thoughts grew inside me. I thought maybe it's best I don't ever upload the video, or at least make it a private video. It was then I found this quote that helped me:

image.png

With this quote, I remembered why I recorded this in the first place. It's not about me, but it's for my readers. It's like another article, just a different format. If it's helpful to at least one person, then that's good enough. So I took a deep breath and click 'Upload'.

Part 3: Sharing the video

The struggle is not done yet. After overcoming part 2, I now have to tweet about uploading this video and ask for feedback. I had a 10-minute internal dilemma, wondering if this will really be a good decision. And after 10 minutes, I reassured myself that this is nothing scary and all a part of learning/growing within the community.

After so much struggles, the tweet was posted and an astounding number of people supported and leave kind feedback for my first ever video!

Lessons Learned

This is the start of a new challenge, and I've already learned a lot from this process. Here are some I'd like to share with you:

1. Self-doubt is not a lonely battle, and it can be overcome

Last year, I read "Mastery" by Robert Greene. In this book, he mentioned many respectful experts such as Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelangelo and Charles Darwin all had experienced a lot of self-doubt of themselves. They never view themselves as masters, rather, they see themselves as mediocre and that they have never accomplished anything.

"Tell me if I ever did a thing." - Leonardo Da Vinci

Anyone can experience self-doubt so if you're ever struggling to start your blog or anything because of this, remember that you're not alone. To overcome this feeling, there's only one thing to do: just do it. And that's exactly what I did for this challenge.

"If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced." - Vincent Van Gogh

2. You are your harshest critic, learn self-compassion instead

Most of us want to accomplish something; we want to be successful. And in order to do that, we often hold ourselves to very high standards. Perhaps too high. This high standard is usually formed by your past experiences: Were your parents strict to you? Were you often compared to others? Are you bullied or criticized in your childhood?

At the end of the day, we can become our harshest critics. We see all the mistakes we made and become hard on ourselves when we don't live up to our own standards. Being critical of yourself can help you be motivated to do better, but it can also lead to fear and procrastination to pursue your goals.

So be mindful of the critic within you and learn to be kinder to yourself. I think this quote below summarizes it well. image.png Image from quotefancy.com

3. Don't be a fortune-teller, be positive

Often times, we make assumptions about the outcome and that made us fearful to start something. Like this challenge, I had many "what if" questions and negative scenarios about starting, which led me to procrastinate and grow my self-doubt.

But we are not fortune-tellers, so we should not even try to predict the outcome or be consumed by negative scenarios that are painted from our worst imaginations. Don't overthink anything and just do it. You'll realize it's not as bad as you imagined.

What I did to finally reassure myself was thinking that it's okay if this one's no good. I'll just be better next time. Take a deep breath and have a positive mind. That's how you can overcome fortune-telling habits.

image.png

Image from smilingcolors.com

4. Surround yourself with good hearts

Continuously learning and growing yourself may be a personal challenge, but it doesn't mean you have to do it alone.

Thanks to some really special friends and good-hearted people around me, I really surprised myself this time - by doing something out of my comfort zone. So reach out and meet friends who will grow and overcome hurdles with you. It will be your greatest support and source of strength.

image.png

This picture is too cute! ❀️😭 True friendship!

Special Thanks

I would like to conclude this article with a thank you to everyone who supported me in this entire process and brand new journey.

A shoutout to Megha Pathak, Sunrit Jana, Tapas Adhikary, Catalin Pit, Victor Ikechukwu, Tracy Nuwagaba, Usman Sabuwala, Olubisi Idris Ayinde, Geeky Chakri and Ricardo Mendoza for leaving kind words and feedback.

What's Next?

Let's see, I don't know how often I will continue making videos. Perhaps not as frequently as writing since I'm still just getting used to it but hopefully, I can bring more value to the community through videos too!

Thanks so much for reading this rather long article. If you haven't seen my first video, please do check it out here and feel free to provide any constructive feedback:

Also, if you're interested in VTubing, please see the Resources section below and don't hesitate to ask questions in the comments or to my email. Stay tuned for the next article and stay safe. Cheers!


Resources

Interested in reading more such articles from Victoria Lo?

Support the author by donating an amount of your choice.

Recent sponsors
Victor Ikechukwu's photo

Wow!, great article Victoria Lo!, Thank you for mentioning me. I'm very happy(honored 😍) to have you as a friend and role model! πŸ₯°. I admire your ability to create amazing content, your desire to learn more, and your positive attitude toward blogging.

I also feel this way, time-to-time when writing articles.

You are your harshest critic, learn self-compassion instead

Setting Standards for myself. and very often, becoming hard on myself when I don't meet them. πŸ˜…

But your point

Surround yourself with good hearts

has really helped me I combatting this.There's no success if there's no one to cheer you, right? πŸ˜„.

Need to start surrounding myself with more good hearts πŸ’• ( guess I'm too shy πŸ˜„)

Thanks for pointing this out.

I wish you every success in your future endeavors. And I will always be there to give you all my support! πŸ˜„

Thanks again for writing such an amazing article!

And I never knew about the VTubing thing. Thanks a lot for sharing! 🀩

Victoria Lo's photo

Thanks a lot Victor! I hope you'll start reaching out to more people and surrounding yourself with good hearts! You're doing great so far so keep it up! All the best! πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ

Mr.Unity Buddy's photo

Wow! You started YouTubing with a great way! I confused when I saw article's topic because, I never thought you will do it as I read your article saying,

As most of you know, I'm too shy to show my face

I'm glad you started YouTubing. Looking forward to see your videos! By the way,I strongly agree to this saying,

Surround yourself with good hearts

Nothing becomes good without good friends. And I never knew about VTubing thing. Thanks a lot for sharing!

Cheers and Good Luck! 🍻

Victoria Lo's photo

Thanks Mr.Unity Buddy! Your support really means a lot! 😊 Yes, this was a challenge that I never thought I could accomplish, but I did it and gave myself a pat on the back~

You're definitely one of the 'good hearts' I've met in this community! ❀️❀️ And seeing your blog grow every day just makes me so proud! Keep it up! Let's both work hard 🍻

Olubisi Idris Ayinde's photo

Victoria Lo Thank you for mentioning me. I'm very happy to have you as a friend. I admire your drive to create amazing content, your desire to learn more, and your positive attitude toward blogging. I wish you every success in your future endeavours.

Victoria Lo's photo

Likewise Idris 😊 Thankful that we met and become friends! Thank you for always supporting and inspiring me! All the best to you as well!

vxhlogs's photo

Congratulations on your first video Victoria! keep growing :)

Victoria Lo's photo

Thanks a bunch!! All the best to you too πŸ’ͺ

Tracy Nuwagaba's photo

Thanks for the mention. I also wanted to do something out of my comfort zone though I'm very nervous

Victoria Lo's photo

Indeed Tracy Nuwagaba, I understand that feeling so well and that's why I wrote this article. To remind myself and anyone who reads this that doing something out of your comfort zone is always challenging but stay positive, you can do it!! πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ

And if you ever need a listening ear, I'm here for you girl~ Shoot me an email or Twitter DM anytime okay?

Sunrit Jana's photo

Well, I just left a genuine feedback about your content, To be noted, It was all you who did this amazing working and presented in front of us! πŸ€—πŸ€— Keep doing such awesome content and things 😊 Looking forward to more! :D

Victoria Lo's photo

Thanks Sunrit Jana, for being an awesome and supportive friend 😊 Meeting you in this community is such a blessing! Wish you every happiness and success 😊😊

Insha Ramin's photo

Congratulations Victoria on this new venture πŸŽ‰

Victoria Lo's photo

Thanks Insha! You too! Congrats on starting your blog πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

Insha Ramin's photo

Thank you! Would love to stay connected with you in order to learn and enhance my writing skills. Victoria Lo

Catalin Pit's photo

Well done, Victoria Lo! I am happy you started a YouTube channel too! You'll conquer YouTube as well. πŸ”₯

I can't wait to see the things you're going to achieve!

Victoria Lo's photo

Thanks so much Catalin Pit for being my constant inspiration, friend and role model! 😊😊 I wish you more success and happiness in the future!

Catalin Pit's photo

Likewise, Victoria Lo! πŸ™

Piyush Sinha's photo

I also get anxious thinking about public speaking... childhood stutter. The stutter is gone but the fear is still there. But when I started working full-time, I had to communicate with team members & clients. I had no choice but to move out of the comfort zone... & this has helped me a lot. I gained confidence slowly and now I have meetings, presentations and knowledge sharing sessions almost daily. It takes courage to move out of your comfort zone. Here’s wishing you success in everything you do. Good luck.

Victoria Lo's photo

Wow Piyush Sinha! Thanks so much for sharing your story. It must have been very tough for you but I'm so glad to hear that you have overcome it πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰ Your story is very inspiring! All the best to you too, my friend!

Tapas Adhikary's photo

Great. Very glad to see this one. Thanks for sharing.

Victoria Lo's photo

My pleasure Tapas! Thanks a lot for your kind words! 😊

Apoorv Tyagi's photo

This is awesome Victoria Lo!!. Good luck with your Youtube Journey :)

Victoria Lo's photo

Thank you Apoorv Tyagi! And please feel free to give me lots of feedback since I'm a newbie! πŸ€—

P.S. Are you a chess GM or not?

Apoorv Tyagi's photo

Haha no I am not that's why you can see a '!' before that (which makes it Not Chess GMπŸ˜…)

But I do love to play chess a lot, in case you ever want just let me knowπŸ˜‰

Geeky Chakri's photo

Wow ! Truly inspiring. You're the best Victoria Lo 🀩

Victoria Lo's photo

Thanks Geeky! πŸ€—πŸ€— No, you're the best! Been enjoying your article! Keep it up!

vishnu chilamakuru's photo

Great article Victoria. While reading few lines in this article I felt I am reading my inner voice πŸ˜„.

Victoria Lo's photo

Thanks vishnu chilamakuru, glad you can relate to it. I hope by sharing this, it can help a lot of people take the first step in whatever they're hesitating with πŸ€—

Ruth Ikegah's photo

So proud of you Victoria Lo for taking this bold step! I just subscribed!

Victoria Lo's photo

Thanks Ruth! So glad to have you as a friend πŸ€—

Usman Sabuwala's photo

Huge congratulations on starting a YouTube channel! I seem to be late on this post πŸ˜… because of some other work. But it was really great to see a new YouTuber in the group!

Your unique style of replacing the face with the animation was the most interesting one πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

Victoria Lo's photo

Haha thanks Usman Sabuwala πŸ€— It's okay, there's no such thing as being late~

Cool! Will check out your YouTube! πŸ‘

Favourite Jome's photo

I'm glad you made you moved out of your comfort zone to make the video, though I haven't completely watched but I will.

I was inspired by Brad Traversy to step out of my comfort zone when I made my first YouTube video and it felt good after uploading the first video.

Most time, after the doubts of should I publish/post I just say to myself what could I lose I'd already done it.

I'm happy for you and also thanks for sharing the backstory.

Show +1 replies
Victoria Lo's photo

Thanks so much Favourite Jome πŸ€— Sorry, I didn't reply earlier too. Was busy with work πŸ˜… Hope you'll get over your stress soon! Sleep well!

Favourite Jome's photo

Once my exam is done, the stress will be gone Victoria Lo πŸ™ƒ.